Rewind to the spring of 2006…

I was working at Disney World in Florida as a College Program cast member (specifically as a Great Movie Rider). I had never been to Disney’s Animal Kingdom before, so I went with a friend of mine.

We decided to go to the It’s Tough to be a Bug! attraction- it’s one of those sensory overload 3-D shows. Initially I was excited, because Bug’s Life is a good movie. As you can see from the photo, taken minutes before the show started, I seemed quite delighted. But I forgot a key issue.

I’m bugaphobic.

Well, specifically arachnophobic, but you know.

I thought I would be okay, but the show begins with a 3-D tarantula. I immediately screamed and yanked off my glasses. It was a cute, happy, smiley tarantula but still for the love of God it was a tarantula.

I put the glasses back on and thought I could get through the rest of the show, but then Hopper appeared, yapped about teaching the humans what it’s like to be a bug, and then shouted “BLACK WIDOWS ATTACK.”

Giant rubber spiders leaped down from the ceiling and danced around my head. I promptly screamed like a two-year-old tourist. Like literally, tears. Everywhere.

By the time the show was over and the seat underneath rumbled as the “bugs left the theater,” I was a sobbing, shaking mess.

My friend was mortified.

I had to go eat my body weight in ice cream afterwards.