Category Archives: wedding

Wedding Wednesday: The Great Gown Search

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Okay, real talk. This was the part that I was really excited for, but also probably the biggest journey I went on, wedding planning wise.

Everything else seemed to click into place. Shane and I were on the same page about what we wanted, we found our venue and our photographer super easily. Everything was working.

I just had no idea what to do about a dress.

Dresses are expensive, dude. But I, regrettably, really love a fancy dress, and also…I worked in a bridal shop for a few years out of college. I was an alterations specialist, which meant I worked on everything from $99 budget satin gowns to $3,000 designer tulle confections. I learned firsthand what a well-made dress looks like and feels like, and I knew that if I was going to spend the money on a wedding dress, it needed to be worth it. I didn’t want to order an Amazon or JJ’s House dress simply because it was affordable. I wanted to truly love it and feel good in it- something that I don’t think I’ve ever felt in my life.

So initially, I was going to make my own wedding dress.

This seemed like a great idea at the time. I’ve been sewing for years, I’ve made plenty of big fancy dresses, and I’ve done bridal alterations. Makes sense, right?

I searched through my Pinterest, but that didn’t help much just because I had so many different ideas. But I did know a few things. I wanted:

-a full skirt (A-line or ballgown)

-a subtle hint of pink

-a sweetheart neckline but preferably off the shoulder

-soft fabric, most likely tulle

-no shiny silver beadwork but maybe a little sparkle

-maybe a bow?

-minimal lace- if it’s lace it needs to be soft

(sidenote: at this point I hadn’t realized I was on the autism spectrum but maybe some of this should have been a sign)

I ended up picking a McCall’s pattern for a simple princess seamed ballgown with a full skirt, a slight train, and an off the shoulder option, then ordered ten yards of a soft ivory dotted tulle. I figured that would work, and I had plenty of time (famous last words for someone who is well known as a procrastinator)

But then…we ended up spending a lot less on photography than we thought. Which meant there was possibly wiggle room for a real dress.

With that in mind, I asked my mom and sister (my maid of honor) if they would come with me to try on dresses. Just to see what I like. So I could see what silhouettes I preferred, and then I could make my own dress. Plus, I could get that special Say Yes to the Dress experience of trying on wedding dresses.

On the upside, I was able to draw on years of working in a bridal shop to know what I needed to do for my appointment. Being prepared took some of the anxiety out of the experience. (The neurodivergence strikes again!) So that being said, here’s some of my tips for trying on wedding dresses for the first time!

-look online for dresses that you’re interested in- silhouettes, designers, brands, fabrics, elements you like or don’t like. giving your consultant an idea of what to start with will help your appointment start off smoothly

-that being said, don’t be afraid to try on something you wouldn’t normally try on! you might be surprised by how much you like something you swore you’d never wear.

-be upfront about the budget, and be realistic. yes, it’s fun to try on super pricey dresses, but it’s heartbreaking to realize it’s not feasible if you really love it (this is the plot of like 23489 episodes of Say Yes to the Dress)

-eat and drink before your appointment! I didn’t want to eat too much (see above: anxiety) but having nothing in your system will for sure backfire. and have plans to eat afterwards- not only would it be good to eat something after, but that way you can debrief!

-don’t bring 87 people with you (again, a crucial Say Yes to the Dress lesson). I brought just my mom and sister for my initial appointment, and then some of my bridal party members for my second. Definitely bring just the people that will support you and uplift you even while they’re honest. Case in point- my sister was really good at pointing out what worked with the dresses I tried on and what didn’t (she knows what I like and how my brain works), but when I showed a friend photos of the dresses I tried on she made a face and said “I like some of those dresses, but I don’t think I like any of them on you.” that’s definitely not the energy I want while I’m trying on dresses (especially since one of those photos ended up being The Dress.)

-wear clothing and shoes that’s easy to slip on and off. I wore a comfy knit dress and ballet flats with slip shorts underneath. I wasn’t sure about a bra situation, especially since I didn’t think I would wear a full bra on my wedding day, so I just didn’t bother. If I was doing it again, I might wear a soft bandeau bra that would be easy to move around- but then again, without a bra it was easier to see how dresses would fit on me, especially with a lower back!

Wedding dress shopping is exhausting and overwhelming, but also incredibly fun and exciting. What would you suggest to someone trying on wedding dresses for the first time?

Wedding Wednesday: Photos and Videos

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Once we had our venue booked and our date set, our next big step was photography. And let me tell you, this had me sweating. Photography was hugely important to us- it’s the one thing you get to keep forever from your wedding day. Not only did we want great photos, but we wanted to work with a photographer that we could trust and feel comfortable around (a tall order for me, I’m 98% anxiety.)

And photography is expensive. We weren’t even sure about adding videography; between the two, we’d rather have the great photos, and we could always set up a tripod and a phone if we needed to film things.

It makes sense why it’s expensive, especially for your wedding day. But it’s still a lot. So just like the wedding venue research, I did a lot of research on local photographers. But unlike venues, where I scoured theknot and Zola, I looked at my friends who had gotten married in the last few years. That spoke a lot to me- getting that firsthand knowledge from someone I knew meant that I could really get a good feel for their experience.

As luck would have it, we ended up reaching out to just one photographer. A friend of mine had recently got married, I asked her who she worked with, and Shane and I set up a time to meet with them. We met Gabby and Mike at Disney Springs one evening after work, and we hit it off immediately. It turns out that not only did we share a lot of the same interests, but Mike and Shane had both been on Warped Tour years ago- they just barely missed each other!

We chatted back and forth over email about logistics, and- just like our venue- we knew it was just meant to be. The package we chose included an engagement session, a full photo release, and an edited video (and some other details- I can double check what they were!) And the whole package was lower than what we had originally budgeted for photography. It was honestly a miracle! We were so excited that we found a photographer and videographer that not only were capable, experienced, and very easy to communicate with, but we felt right at ease with them immediately. It was incredible!

What made you decide on your photographer? And did you decide to go with videography too?

Wedding Wednesday: Touring the Venue(s)

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This title might be a little misleading. You’ll see why.

We (me, my fiance, and my parents) took a look at all the options for wedding venues and decided on the first one to tour- Historic Venue 1902 in Sanford. I was a little hesitant, just worrying that it might end up being too expensive, but it did seem perfect. It wasn’t too far away, it had great parking and getting ready suites, and the most important thing to me- it had just the right vibes. Originally the venue had been a school built in 1902, and had been restored as an events venue. Not only did it have a sweet, whimsical, historical vibe, but it also had a lovely private garden out back for ceremonies. So needless to say, I was starting to get my hopes up.

The next tick in the “pros” column was that the coordinator immediately made me feel at ease. I’m a super anxious person, and she was so kind and personable right off the bat. She also immediately understood what I meant when I said I was going for a cottagecore/Anne of Green Gables aesthetic- huge for me!

The first room we toured was actually a restored classroom that looked the way the school would have in 1902- complete with chalkboards, old fashioned desks, and a teacher’s desk at the front. Shane turned to me, unprompted, and said “if you wanted to we could recreate the slate scene from Anne of Green Gables in here.”

Well, needless to say, I was immediately sold.

It only got better from there. The backyard garden was beautiful and private- and most importantly, there was a rain plan included in the package price, which is extremely necessary in rainy Florida but most venues make that an extra charge. The reception venue was the old school auditorium with a stage, and the principal’s office was now the perfect place for a desserts display. The bridal suite and the groom suite were incredible, the brick courtyard was gorgeous, and there was even a room we could rent for the rehearsal. All in all, it was perfect.

We sat down with the coordinator to go over the details after the tour, and she asked us what date we were looking at. Luckily, we didn’t have anything concrete in mind, and we were hoping for a non-weekend date, so we asked for any Thursday between October and February. (The coordinator was thrilled- most Saturdays were already booked up, and so many couples come in with a specific date only to get disappointed.) We tentatively picked a date, and said we would be in touch with our decision after we thought it over.

After the tour we went to a local restaurant (Hollenbach’s, a great German restaurant that incidentally would provide a morning-of breakfast for the bridal party) and talked it over. Everyone was on the same page- the venue was perfect, the package had everything we were looking for, and the cost for a Thursday wedding was surprisingly affordable. There was no point in even looking at other venues- we booked them that day for a wedding on December 1st!

It’s funny- the venue search was what I dreaded the most, and it turned out to be the easiest decision after all. How did you feel about picking your venue, and what was your deciding factor?

Wedding Wednesday: Searching for a Venue

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The very first thing Shane and I wanted to decide on was our wedding venue. In our opinion, that was the most important factor. There’s not much you can plan until you have a date set and you know exactly what kind of space and guest count you can estimate for.

The big downside, though, was that most wedding venues in the central Florida area fall into one of three main categories: ballroom, barn, or beach.

Beach was right out. That was too much of a drive in our opinion, and besides, to quote Anakin Skywalker- “I hate sand. It’s far too coarse. Gets everywhere.” We’re not really beachy people (Shane can barely handle Castaway Cay on our cruises) and it isn’t our vibe.

We briefly considered ballroom. That just didn’t seem like us either. We wanted a formal-ish wedding, but we’re definitely not black tie affair people. And we didn’t want a “wedding factory” vibe either.

(We also looked into a Disney wedding. While it is possible for it to be on the affordable side, the easiest way to cut costs would be to A) have a hotel ballroom reception and B) have 20 people or less. Neither of those things appealed to us, and we didn’t want to spend crazy amounts of money, so Disney was taken off the list. Although…if I could have gone with that, I definitely would have done a ceremony in the UK pavilion garden, a reception at the American Adventure rotunda, and a dessert party at Fantasmic.)

That left us with a barn. Which, honestly, neither of us minded, but we really wanted to find something that was a little more garden-y rather than rustic. Unfortunately, most options veered in the cowboy boots and antlers direction than the flowers and picket fence variety.

So what did I do? I made a Google spreadsheet of every venue that seemed even remotely possible. I sorted everything by cost, amenities (like a bridal suite, parking options, etc.), availability, and ended up with eighty possible venues.

I showed the spreadsheet to my parents, who had agreed to pay for our venue, and my mom said “that one. We should tour that one.”

I was a bit shocked, because the venue she picked was definitely an outlier. In desperation I had searched for “library wedding central florida” and this particular venue had popped up. I had sort of assumed it would be too expensive- my top choices were a couple of wedding barns that allowed for a lot of DIY. But lo and behold, that was the first venue we toured.

Stay tuned to see how the tour went, and if we picked it! How did you select your wedding venue? Did you spreadsheet your options or did you just go with the first one that seemed like the right choice?

Wedding Wednesday: Priorities and Aesthetics

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Because of the Kind of Person I Am, I had a wedding pinterest board long before I got engaged. I’ve always been super interested in weddings, especially after I worked at a bridal shop for a few years right after I graduated from college. Needless to say…I had a lot of different ideas to wade through when Shane and I started planning.

The most important thing was to figure out, well, the important things. A 100k wedding was not in the budget, so we wanted to make sure we made our decisions really carefully. So we narrowed down the top three things we wanted to make sure were perfect.

#1: The Venue. The venue can make or break a wedding. Too far away, too difficult to navigate, lack of parking, not enough shade or air conditioning (a huge concern in Florida!), no rain plan…we wanted to make sure our venue set us up for success.

#2: The Food. If you’re inviting your guests to celebrate with you, you probably should have good food. I feel like that’s one of the things that guests really remember about a wedding, what they ate and if it was good or not. Plus, Shane was really hoping for barbecue.

#3: Photography. At the end of the day, that’s all you have left. Once the wedding is over, it’s over. That might be the only time you have all those people in one place with you. That might be the hottest you’ve ever looked in your life. This is a huge day- it seems important to have great photos to remember it!

At the end of the day, we felt like everything else- the clothing, the decorations, the invitations- could be DIY or budget friendly. If we were going to spend money on anything, it would be those three things. It really made a difference in wedding planning!

When it came to the aesthetic, though, that’s where Shane let me loose. He was like “you can have all the pink you want, all the girly things you want, make it exactly the way you want…all I ask is that I get to wear a navy suit and I get to eat brisket.” Done. Super reasonable. I still asked his opinion on things, and if he truly didn’t like something then we came up with a compromise, but those were his big things.

I knew that I wanted pink. I wanted shades of pink, and a cottagecore princessy vibe. Very garden-y, old fashioned. I knew that would be a tall order for Florida (where am I going to find a storybook garden in a swamp state??) but that’s another post for another day! The aesthetic kept evolving as we kept going, and it ended up being perfect.

Wedding Wednesday: Our Love Story and Proposal

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Shane and I met all the way back in 2013. I had just started back at Disney as a part time cast member at Star Tours, and he was working at Jedi Training Academy. Sometimes we would chat when we were outside at the same time, and one day I mentioned how jealous I was that the JTA cast got to carry lightstabers.

Shane then said “Oh! Do you want one?”

Turns out he had accidentally accumulated multiple lightsabers, and he offered to let me have one. But then…I cross trained at the Great Movie Ride, and he moved on to Dinosaur and we completely lost touch.

In 2016 he happened to ride the Great Movie Ride and saw me briefly, and then he friended me on Instagram…and then he slid into my DMs and asked me out on a date. I hadn’t been on a date in ages and gave myself an early out by telling him that I had rehearsal for Seussical that night- and I warned him that I’m late for everything and I’d probably be late for our date. He told me he had sisters, he’d never been on time for anything. (And yes, I was late). But we ended up really hitting it off, and he walked me to my car, and he kissed me…and that was it! We dated casually for about two months, made it official, and we’ve been together ever since.

(I also found out much, much later that he had a date lined up with someone else after our first date, and he called her up to cancel and basically said “sorry I have to cancel, but I think I met my wife.”)

We started talking about getting married, and originally had planned on getting engaged in 2020…but, well, you can guess what happened with that. His original plan was incredible. I was directing Tuck Everlasting at my home theater (the same theater where I did Seussical when we first started dating!) and he had planned on filling the audience with friends and family for the last performance and proposing during the curtain call, and then the cast party would be our surprise engagement party. And that filled the only guidelines I really had for a proposal! All I really wanted was:

-to look nice (wearing something cute, and preferably have my nails looking decent)

-have someone there to take photos/videos

-celebrate with friends and family afterwards

That was all I really wanted! Unfortunately, the pandemic had other ideas, so everything got postponed to the spring of 2021, and plans had to change pretty dramatically. I was not dressed the way I wanted (and my nails were…not good) and the pandemic meant that a party was out of the question. Shane also…might’ve panicked a little. He got down on one knee, held out the ring, and blurted out “are you going to say yes or what?” No name, no little speech, no…actual asking. But I did say yes, and the ring was absolutely perfect! (I didn’t have a single clue what kind of ring I wanted, and he nailed it.)

I didn’t get a formal wedding band (more on that later), so I’ve told Shane that if he ever wants to get me a new wedding band and re-propose, I wouldn’t be mad about that. But the most important thing was that we formally got engaged after four and a half years of dating!

That’s a very condensed version of our love story- let me know if you want to hear the longer version! What’s your proposal story?

Wedding Wednesday

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When I was in college, I got obsessed with a website called Weddingbee. And I mean obsessed. The site featured real brides who blogged about their wedding planning process and then followed up with recaps of their wedding day. They all had cutesy themed names and icons like Mrs. Mouse and Mrs. Candy Corn and I devoured those recaps. Like the planning process was fun to see, but my favorite part was the minute-by-minute breakdown of the actual wedding itself.

So when I got married in 2022, what did I want to do? Apply for Weddingbee!

They don’t do that anymore.

When I tell you I was crushed. So so crushed. What do you mean, I couldn’t apply for the chance to be something cute like Miss Creme Brulee and post all about my wedding? And what do you mean, there weren’t any current blogs to read about wedding planning? The site still exists, but just as an ordinary wedding planning site.

So what’s a girl to do? Clearly, I need to blog about my own wedding in my own space!

I don’t have a cute name or icon (I’ll totally take suggestions, though). But in the meantime, I’ll post a blog per week this year recapping my wedding. Is that extra? Yeah, it is. But it’s my blog, and also I loved my wedding, and I want to document it! So I’m gonna!

(Photo by Gabby Darling Photography)