well THAT just happened

Elderly Man: *puts his hand on my shoulder* “Can you tell an old marine where the smoking section is?”

Me: *explains*

Elderly Man: *looks me up and down with his hand still on my shoulder* “I’d say God bless you, but…if this was the old days you’d be blessing me.”

Me: “…oh my goodness.”

*once he’s out of earshot*

Amanda: “What was that about??”

Me: “…I think he said that if this was the old days he would bang me.”

apparently I have a weird voice, because this happened at Star Tours yesterday.

themetaphorgirl:

Me: “Hi there! Party of three? Here’s your flight glasses, we’ll find a gate for y’all.”

Ten Year Old Boy: “Do they pay you to talk like that?”

Me: “…no. I just naturally talk like Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls.”

oh my god Josh just said I should have answered with “DO THEY PAY YOU TO WEAR THAT MASK? OH WAIT THAT’S YOUR FACE.”

That would have gone over real well, I’m sure.