Author Archives: themetaphorgirl

Apparently This is My Come Hither Face

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8/21/12: Apparently This is My Come Hither Face

I need to learn how to make better facial expressions. And poses that don’t involve hands on my hips. I might have to start doing cliche fashion blogger poses, just so I can change things up.

I won this dress in a cutthroat eBay auction and I’m so glad I did! It’s so comfortable and adorable- although it hikes halfway up my thighs when I sit down. But it’s so cute, I don’t mind wearing it with tights!

Although, speaking of which, my husband didn’t realize I was wearing tights. He just thought I had oompa-loompa legs. Thanks, husband.

I was going to wear this with a pair of yellow espadrille sandals, but I just got this pair of Blowfish Hamish boots and really, really wanted to wear them. It’s probably weird to wear boots and tights with a summer dress, but eh. It made me happy and it was comfortable!

Dress: Modcloth Island Carnival dress via eBay
Tights: Hue via eBay
Boots: Blowfish Hamish via eBay

Nail Polish: OPI Katy Perry One That Got Away
Perfume of the Day: Harajuku Lovers Super

Twelve Shades of Yellow

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8/20/12: Twelve Shades of Yellow

In my husband’s words: “well, at least it’s not fifty shades of gray!”

Yeah, the yellows don’t necessarily match. But this dress was super comfy, and really nice for a hot day like today! Plus I had to move around a whole bunch (today was all about movement and expression on stage), and since there’s a smocked back and no zipper, I was very comfortable. I need to take the straps in a little, though.

And my hair did not last down for very long. It was up in a ponytail by 7th period. Oh, well. This was my second time trying the Miss Jessie’s curl cream from my last Birchbox- this time I let my hair air dry with my usual leave in conditioner, touched up the curls with an iron, and finished with the curl cream. As you can see…nice waves. No curls. And like I said…in a ponytail by 7th period. I’ll give it a couple more tries, but I’ll probably just use it as a finishing cream, and I don’t think I’ll buy more.

My lip color was a better success! I used the Pixi lip liner/lipstick in Peony, and  I really liked it. It was a great texture and a pretty decent shade, considering I didn’t pick it out myself, and it lasted for a good part of the day. If they have the same product in a red, I might give that a try.

Dress: Modcloth Blueberry Lemonade dress, thrifted
Cardigan: Old Navy, thrifted
Belt: unknown, thrifted
Shoes: Target

Nail Polish: OPI Katy Perry The One That Got Away
Perfume of the Day: Harajuku Lovers G of the Sea

The One with My Least Favorite Disney Attraction

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Rewind to the spring of 2006…

I was working at Disney World in Florida as a College Program cast member (specifically as a Great Movie Rider). I had never been to Disney’s Animal Kingdom before, so I went with a friend of mine.

We decided to go to the It’s Tough to be a Bug! attraction- it’s one of those sensory overload 3-D shows. Initially I was excited, because Bug’s Life is a good movie. As you can see from the photo, taken minutes before the show started, I seemed quite delighted. But I forgot a key issue.

I’m bugaphobic.

Well, specifically arachnophobic, but you know.

I thought I would be okay, but the show begins with a 3-D tarantula. I immediately screamed and yanked off my glasses. It was a cute, happy, smiley tarantula but still for the love of God it was a tarantula.

I put the glasses back on and thought I could get through the rest of the show, but then Hopper appeared, yapped about teaching the humans what it’s like to be a bug, and then shouted “BLACK WIDOWS ATTACK.”

Giant rubber spiders leaped down from the ceiling and danced around my head. I promptly screamed like a two-year-old tourist. Like literally, tears. Everywhere.

By the time the show was over and the seat underneath rumbled as the “bugs left the theater,” I was a sobbing, shaking mess.

My friend was mortified.

I had to go eat my body weight in ice cream afterwards.

Love in Gray and Yellow

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Love in Gray and Yellow

I am so in love with the dress! It’s so comfortable and the fabric is so nice- a lot nicer than I usually expect from a Forever 21 dress. It’s super short and scoopnecked for work, but…well, I really wanted to wear it. Luckily, I wore this on Friday, which means jeans day at work, so I wore the dress with jeggings and called it a day. It was a little on the cool-ish side today too, so I added the gray cardigan.

I wore this for work (we did breathing, focus, and listening exercises today) and then straight to a get-together for a friend’s birthday. We had Texas barbecue (THAT CHICKEN WAS THE SIZE OF MY HEAD OH MY GOD) and then wandered merrily around Whole Foods. P and I came home with chocolate milk, black cherry cream soda, and biscoff spread. YAY SUGAR!
I tried out one of my new Birchbox products, the Miss Jessie’s curl cream. I put it in my hair while it was still wet, and it stayed loosely wavy for about two hours, but by the time I got home there was barely any wave left at all. Which is weird for me, because my hair is usually massively wavy. But maybe I just need to change my approach.
Also, these Blowfish Aerins are still amazing. I adore them. If my Seychelles Romance boots are my fancyboots, these are my sassyboots.

 

Dress: Forever 21, thrifted
Belt: came with the dress
Cardigan: Forever 21
Jeggings: Target
Boots: Blowfish Aerins, thrifted

 

Nail Polish: OPI Katy Perry Not Like the Movies
Perfume of the Day: Harajuku Lovers Music

 

The Curious Case of the Clown Shoes

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8/16/12: The Curious Case of Clown ShoesI

I love these shoes. They’re comfy and quirky and I purchased them for $7.49 about two years ago.

They make me look like I have clown feet.

Do I care?

No, not particularly.

I originally was going to wear a different outfit today, but I liked that outfit so much that I decided to save it for Friday, since I’m going to a party after work. It was also a wee bit rainy today, so flats were definitely in order.

(Also, in case you were curious, I wear anywhere from a size 4 1/2 in children’s to a 6 1/2 in women’s. And because I have massive ex-cheerleader calves, I often go up to a 7 in boots.)

I also forgot that this top needs a cami underneath it. I was attempting to straighten my hair when I raised my arm and saw the entire band of my bra. Now, while some people might embrace this as a sartorial choice, I really don’t want my fifteen high school students to know that their teacher was wearing a blue and yellow polka dot bra today. So cami it was.

Also, this is as straight as my hair gets. And by the end of the day, it was downright wavy. Oy.

Top: Forever 21
Cami: Old Navy
Skirt: Forever 21, thrifted
Belt: came with skirt
Shoes: Xappeal via Rack Room
Headband: Claire’s

 

Nail Polish: OPI Katy Perry Not Like the Movies
Perfume of the Day: Vera Wang Glam Princess

 

Fancyboots

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8/15/12 Outfit: Fancyboots

This conversation occurred as I was getting dressed this morning.

 

Me:: I’m going to wear my fancy boots today.

 

Sister: ….

 

Me: Someday I’m going to start a band and called it Fancyboots.

Of course, my sister reminded me that my band ought to be called Kissyboots, but you know.

These boots are amazing. Too bad I don’t know how to pose properly to show them off. They’re the Seychelles Romance boots in mushroom, and I am in love. The first time I wore them they rubbed a bit against the backs of my calves, but today they were perfect. They’re a little big- I went up a size like I usually do with boots, just because my giant calves have a tendency to interfere with normal boot-wearing- but nothing some thick socks can’t help with. Alas, they’re not very practical for crossing the road and steep driveway that divides my school’s campus, but it’s okay. My legs are short; I’m used to walking slow.

I have a crap-ton of Modcloth dresses, but this one probably gets the most wear. It’s super comfortable. I bought in their Labor Day sale back in 2010 and never regretted it. I mean, not that I ever regret Modcloth purchases- my bank account might, but I never do.

Dress: Message in a Bottle dress via Modcloth
Cardigan: Target
Boots: Seychelles Romance

 

Nail Polish: OPI Katy Perry Not Like the Movies
Perfume of the Day: Harajuku Lovers G of the Sea

Outfit of the Day: Today I Look Like Annie Oakley

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8/13/12 Outfit: Today I Look Like Annie Oakley

I specifically asked my sister if I looked like a cowgirl. She said no.

I got home and the first words out of my mom’s were “yee-haw, Annie Oakley!”

Conclusion: I did indeed look like a cowgirl today.

I wore this for the first day of the creativity and concentration focus week. I want my theatre arts students to be comfortable around each other and comfortable with being over-the-top creative before we start working on improv, so we played telephone pictionary. It went so well! The kids all really liked it. I forsee it being a popular choice on free days.

Tee: Ross
Dress: Target
Belt: Forever 21
Boots: Xappeal via Rack Room

Nail Polish: OPI Katy Perry Not Like the Movies
Perfume of the Day: Harakuju Lovers Baby

Outfit of the Day: The Hiccup Necklace No One Can See

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8/10/12 Outfit: The Hiccup Necklace that No One Can See

I was so excited because I finally got to wear my adorable kitten necklace AND YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE IT. It’s twisted around. GAH. This is me being frustrated. The necklace is precious- I bought it primarily because it looks like my little cat, Hiccup.

 

Oh, well. I’ll just have to wear it again. Such a hardship.

 

This outfit is super comfy, which is good because I had to bounce around a lot orchestrating a game of theatre history jeopardy. I also learned today that it’s a good idea that I never became a math teacher.

I also did a Bad Thing. I peeled off my nail polish instead of removing it properly. It’s not…it’s not that bad, right?

Tee: Old Navy
Skirt: Old Navy, thrifted
Shoes: Keds, thrifted
Necklace: Betsey Johnson, thrifted

Perfume of the Day: Vera Wang Glam Princess

Outfit of the Day: I Look Like a Student

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Outfit of the Day 8/9/12: Oops, I Look Like a Student

I keep trying to dress like a grown up and FAILING MISERABLY. I felt so mature when I got to work, and one of my students said “aw, Mrs. T, you look like a Catholic schoolgirl!” SEE? EPIC FAILURE.

 

But I really like this outfit, so oh well. Besides, between my diminutive stature and my round hamster cheeks, I will perpetually look like a fifteen-year-old. I might as well just give up trying to look older and just try to look nice.

 

These boots are probably my favorite things I’ve found on eBay- brand new Blowfish Aerins, in my size, for only $9.90 and free shipping. NO REGRETS, JUST AWESOME BOOTS. They’re my first pair of Blowfishes, and I adore them. I might be a lifelong convert.

 

I wore this to teach the last day of my introductory crash course in theatre history- musical theatre! I opened with an activity where they had to decide by the written one-sentence synopsis if it was a musical or not. They were all musicals! Their reaction to The Producers was especially hilarious. “There’s a musical about Hitler?!”

 

Yes, my children. Yes, indeed.

I also used the Staniac lip and cheek stain from my July Birchbox. Blush always makes me uneasy- 22 years in theater has conditioned me to apply way too much. I think this worked, though! I had just enough of a rosy flush, and it was pretty easy to apply, albeit a little messy. Any more, though, and I would have looked like an escapee china doll.

Also, I really wish I had been told to fix my cardigan. I have a bad case of awkward boob.

 

Blouse: Forever 21
Skirt: Forever 21, thrifted
Cardigan: American Eagle
Boots: Blowfish, thrifted
Necklace: Gift

 

Nail Polish: OPI Katy Perry Last Friday Night
Perfume of the Day: Harajuku Lovers Super G