Experiment #1: mostly small rollers.
NO. HELL TO THE NO. I LOOK LIKE SHIRLEY TEMPLE’S PET POODLE.
Author Archives: themetaphorgirl
Book Reviews: Anna Dressed in Blood
Anna Dressed in Blood by Kendare Blake
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Sometimes a book will snag you with a title. Or a cover. Or a hook. This one managed all three.
The main character, Cas, is a bundle of badass held together with bandaids. He’s so tough. All the time. Too tough. I wish he’d been vulnerable a little more often. He veered into it sometimes, skirting the edge of human vulnerability, and then *zip* “I’m a badass and I’m better than all of you!” But I do love him, the inscrutable little love.
The villain…heroine? Villoine? I don’t know. Anna is amazing. Compelling and horrifying and amazing all at once. I can’t say much, but yes, she’s fascinating.
The supporting cast is staunch and steady. Thomas and Morfan are the most memorable, while Carmel and Will sort of shuffle to the back. I wish Cas’s mother had been more fleshed out.
I loved the storyline, how it began as a simple urban legend and spiraled into a fuller story. I think the plot twist at the end was a bit too unexpected and a little too rushed, but still. I really, really enjoyed this book. And I look forward to the sequel!
Book Reviews: The Night Strangers
The Night Strangers by Chris Bohjalian
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Well. That was a book full of unexpected things! And I’m glad.
I picked up this book thinking it was going to be a fairly standard ghost story. It wasn’t. The plot fanned out in all different directions, which I enjoyed. Some plotlines were stronger than others; some seemed a bit muddled in places. And while there was a wealth of female characters, they seemed a bit too copyish of each other, while the male characters were all quite distinct. But the most important thing was that I couldn’t stop reading. I needed to find out what was going to happen, how things would resolve- if they would resolve. And I wasn’t disappointed. It was a really good read, one I’ll probably revisit for a long car trip when I need something to suck me in and keep me there for quite a while.
Book Reviews: The Poison Eaters
The Poison Eaters: and Other Stories by Holly Black
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Oh lordy. I read this one backstage during my last production, and thank goodness these were short stories, otherwise I might’ve missed a cue.
Each story is an effortlessly blazing little pass through a vastly different world, and I love that. I enjoyed all of them, but I have to say that my favorite one was “The Coat of Stars.” It began as such an average little story, and then turned into what could only be described as a classic fairy tale. I thought the most beautiful story in the collection.
“Going Ironside” and “The Land of Heart’s Desire” were a little lost on me- I felt like I needed to know more about Holly Black’s other stories to understand it. But I did enjoy the others, especially “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” and the titular story, because they made me think.
Book Reviews: Tamsin
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Oh lordy. If I had read Tamsin as a wee lass of thirteen, I would have been completely obsessed with it. It has all the things that push my middle-schooler buttons: magic, obscure English lore, historical elements, a lovely ghost, and teenage whining.
The main character, Jenny, is uprooted from her home in New York to live in a ramshackle farm with her new blended family. She’s endearing right away- overemotional but bluntly honest. The plot takes a while to get going and there’s a heavy sprinkling of references to booze and drugs to make things Relevant for the Youth of Today, but once the narrative ends up in England, the magic takes hold.
I will most likely read this book again, on a rainy afternoon that lends itself nicely to magic. And I’ll probably hand it off to my own whiny preteen, fifteen or twenty years down the road, and hope that Jenny and her magic will catch her attention like it did mine.
Chris Colfer was in my dream the other night.
He was holding a bowl of socks. We waved at each other.
It was only slightly less weird than my previous dream, where they filmed a movie starring an enormous octopus a la Free Willy and they had him on display at the Oscars (I remember Kermit the Frog came and looked at him) and then in the middle of the awards an activist broke in and she freed the giant octopus.
And I remember standing there thinking “but I’m afraid of cephalopods.”
Suddenly…cephalopods.
this is serious first grade business.
First Grade Girl: MISS CAITLIN. HE’S COPYING ME.
First Grade Boy: MISS CAITLIN. HE’S COPYING ME.
Me: First Grade Boy, are you copying her?
First Grade Boy: No, I’m not copying her.
Me: No, I’m not copying her.
First Grade Boy: Are you copying me?
Me: Are you copying me?
First Grade Boy: Stop copying me, Miss Caitlin!
Me: Stop copying me, Miss Caitlin!
First Grade Boy: Why are you copying me?
Me: Do you like it when I copy you?
First Grade Boy: Noooo…
Me: Then stop copying her.
First Grade Boy: …okay.
I am shocked, delighted, and in need of a new bookcase
So remember when I wrote a bunch of word vomit a while ago, about an author that I loved and how she was having a book giveaway and you had to write a thing so I wrote a thing and just sort of flailed everywhere?
I won.
I KNOW. I’M AS SHOCKED AS YOU ARE. I don’t win things. Like ever. Not lotteries, nor spelling bees, nor competitions. I am not a winner.
BUT I WON ANYWAY.
I got a message via the contest site from the author that I won! And she even told me she was glad I won, because she thought my entry was awesome!
I was speechless for the next hour. And then reread my blog entry only to find comma splices and incorrect prepositions, so I had to go hide in shame for a while.
Well, in any case, last night while I was at work, I got an ecstatic text message from my husband saying “YOUR BOOKS ARE HERE,” which made rebeading the hem of a wedding dress a lot more bearable. And I got home to discover two GIANT boxes, one of which was cleverly labeled.
(Hiccup was not pleased at the prospect of adding a puppy to the family.)
P helped me rip the boxes open and I pulled each of them out one by one, oohing and aahing over titles and authors and glossy covers and shoving them in P’s face as I exclaimed “LOOK THIS IS AN ADVANCED READER’S COPY ISN’T THIS AWESOME?!”
And then we stacked them up, just to see how tall they’d be. Then again, I haven’t grown since the sixth grade, so I don’t know if this is a testament to my shortness or the sheer amount of books now in my possession.
All right, even if I’m only a hair under five feet tall, that is still a lot of books! I think my reading for the next year is well scheduled.
So thank you, Maggie Stiefvater, for randomly selecting me to win, saying a nice thing to a very discouraged girl, and sending me a glorious collection of books. They will be very much loved.
And also my cat thanks you for his new fort.
rnstudentandagleek replied to your post: so, sitting here, getting frustrated because my chest feels tight, and my breathing’s all wonky, and then…
CAITLIN OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I ALWAYS FORGET I’M ALLERGIC TO RAW CARROTS.
Also watermelon. They made my throat close up and I can’t talk.
You would think I would remember by now.
so, sitting here, getting frustrated because my chest feels tight, and my breathing’s all wonky, and then…
…dammit, Caitlin, when are you going to remember that you are ALLERGIC THE FUCK TO CARROTS.
The Metaphor Girl 