This challenge is great and also the most stressful thing I’ve ever done. On one hand, these activities genuinely are helpful. On the other hand, now that I’m blogging about it, and making Tiktoks, it’s terrifying to be vulnerable. But I need to stop hiding how sad I am and how much of a toll this has taken on me.

Today is 7dpo, so it’s still that Schroedinger’s phase- either implantation is working or it’s not. It’s so stressful but I’m trying not to stress; I’m trying not to think about it but it’s all I can think about. Truly an awful phase to be in.

My plan had been to get up early before work and get myself going- and that definitely didn’t happen. Another thing I’m trying to do is listen to my body and rest when I need it, and I definitely needed more sleep. I also forgot my Fitbit at home, so I couldn’t track my steps. Whoops. We’ll try again tomorrow!

Beauty and Health: buy new sunglasses

I’ve been putting off prescription sunglasses for years, for no real good reason. I just always talk myself out of them. So I ordered a cute pair of pink prescription sunglasses off Zeelool, and hopefully I’ll like them when they get here!

Creativity: sketch a dream dress

I’m planning on an outfit to make for a Florence and the Machine concert next month, so I’ve figured out what I want to sew. I really want a Victorian ghost nightgown meets Stevie Nicks, so I found a Gunne Sax inspired pattern on Etsy that will be perfect for the ten yards of ivory dotted swiss tulle I have in my stash.

Connection: brainstorm coping mechanisms with friends

Maeve has been my rock through the past three years- she’s helped so much with keeping me distracted. My therapist also send me resources of progressive muslce relaxation and I really hope that makes a difference.

Journaling prompt: what does beauty mean to me now?

This is an uncomfortable topic for me. I don’t feel beautiful ever- how could I possibly feel anything good about myself when my body doesn’t work? Maybe making myself go through this challenge will help shift that view.