Author Archives: themetaphorgirl

a letter to my cat

Posted in cat mom, literally me by

dear cat,

I love you and your fuzzy little tummy and your big kitten eyes and the way you open the bedroom door to snuggle in the mornings. You are the perfect furbaby.

But when you pee on everything I love, don’t be surprised when Mommy calls you a little bastard and puts you in bathroom timeout for a while.

love, Mommy (who is tired of washing the comforter)

PS: Daddy and I are getting you fixed. Love you!

things involved in my dream last night

Posted in literally me by

  • Camping

  • Community theatre

  • Zombies

  • Baked potatoes

  • Ron Swanson

  • a very dilapidated 12-passenger van

  • the zombies also had a 12-passenger van, but theirs was red and shiny

  • a high speed chase in a 12-passenger van

  • Kurt and Blaine

  • a Halloween party in a very large Target store

  • babysitting
(did I mention I was driving the getaway van? Not the zombie one, the other one.)
Posted in literally me by

regalzebra replied to your post: Francey, what was your reaction when baby Blaine was brought home?

lololol. my sister tried to do that with me, too. my dad says she asked where “the brother store” was, so she could go get our money back.

When my parents were expecting my sister, they asked little me what I wanted.

I said, “A little brother.”

And they were like “…uh, little Caitlin, how does a little sister sound?”

And I said “I would rather have a little brother. Or a puppy.”

I still do not have a puppy or a brother.

I would like a Yorkie for the puppy and Chris Colfer for the little brother, please.

Re: hemming – story of my life. I have to tack on an extra $8 to everypair of pants I buy because they will always have to be tailored nomatter what length I order (my inseam is something like 27").Ridiculous. (On a similar note, do you know how to shorten pants butstill keep the original hem? ‘S what my tailor does.)

Posted in sewing by

OH GEEZ. Yes. Everything I own is way too long. This is why I stopped wearing pants. Except now I work with small children and pants are helpful.

And I can, on certain styles. It’s just tedious. Usually I just turn and machine-stitch, for yea and verily, I am lazy.