Category Archives: 100 to Baby Challenge

day 1/100 (cycle #40, day 3)

Posted in 100 to Baby Challenge, the metaphor baby by

Today was the first official day for my 100 to Baby Challenge. I fully chickened out of making Tiktoks, though. I intended on making a Tiktok and and even took a few clips, and then it just…fizzled out. Maybe I’m not ready for that step. I might try again later!

The routine went well in the morning- I went for a walk, I ate breakfast, I left for work on time. I didn’t put on any makeup, but that’s okay.

Evening? Not quite as good. I had a whole plan for the afternoon, especially since I got home earlier than usual, but all my plans go thrown out the window. Not only was my husband home (a good thing, but he’s the most chaotic human and I didn’t plan to work around him), but he had A) disassembled our old broken bed frame and thrown it out, B) had all the pieces of the new bed frame scattered across the apartment, and C) had started making a different dinner from the one we’d agreed on the night before. My whole neurodivergent brain went WOOP.

We got it all figured out, but I didn’t end up doing my second workout or cleaning, and I definitely didn’t stick to my healthy eating (the food itself wasn’t unhealthy, but I did eat more than I planned). But I did get back on track with my nighttime skincare routine, and here I am blogging! Tomorrow I close at work, so things will be unpredictable again, but I have a night shift routine planned out and I’m hoping for the best.

Health
-didn’t sleep 7 hours, but did get an 86 sleep score
-ate decently today- I’d give myself a 7/10
-went for a morning walk but didn’t do afternoon workout
-vitamins taken!

Beauty and Style: Work on brows
My brows tend to go crazy. I feel like I have no idea what to do with them. I at least tried to tame them, which is more than I’ve done in months!

Creativity and Self Care: build a playlist for the year
I made myself a quick Spotify playlist with some of my favorite “keep going” songs. My motto for this year is “do it sad,” so I picked a lot of high energy hopeful songs- “Don’t Lose Sight” by Lawrence, “Dog Days are Over” by Florence and the Machine, “Opalite” by Taylor Swift. Things like that.

Connection: make 2026 goals with Shane
This ended up being a really sweet little conversation. He wants us to go to more baseball games together, go out to eat at more restaurants instead of picking up food and bringing it home when we treat ourselves, and going on walks together. I love all those plans. I was just going to say that my goal was for us to have a baby, but I love all of these ideas that he had.

**Journaling Prompt: What are my fears around fertility, and where do they come from?

day zero

Posted in 100 to Baby Challenge, health and fitness, infertility, mental and emotional, the metaphor baby, TTC by

I wanted to start a challenge in the new year, but I didn’t want to start it on January 1st. See, on January 1st I was seven days past ovulation, and I was really hoping that that cycle would work, and that I would finally be pregnant, and I wouldn’t need the challenge at all.

But here I am.

In February of 2023, my husband and I decided we wanted to start our family. I’ve wanted kids for as long as I can remember- when I was nineteen I wanted five children. We’d been together for seven years, we’d just gotten married, we felt ready. We knew that it might take a while, but hoped it wouldn’t take more than a year.

Today is January 9th, 2026. It’s my 40th cycle of trying. We still don’t have a baby. Doctors can’t tell us why.

There’s a lot more to the story, but that’s where we are right now. And it’s awful. It’s soul crushing and demoralizing and, quite frankly, really fucking depressing. The past almost three years have been so sad and so stressful.

I’m sure I’ll get into this more as time goes on, but where I am right now is that I want a full reset. Emotional, physical, mental. I’ve seen a lot of people on TikTok doing the 75 hard challenge, so I’ve decided to create my own version. A hundred day reset for myself, and hopefully by the end of the reset I’ll either be pregnant or in the thick of IVF.

My goals for the 100 days are:

-a daily journal prompt: unpacking my feelings about infertility, about trying to conceive, about my future as a mother

-something beauty and style related: I’ve neglected myself a lot in the past few years, just because it’s hard to feel anything positive about your body when it repeatedly betrays you

-something creative: I used to be so invested in writing and theatre and reading and sewing, and I’ve lost all of that.

-something connecting: I’m very lucky to have such a healthy, supportive, loving relationship with my husband, but it’s something that deserves to be cared for and nurtured while we’re dealing with this. And I’ve pulled away a lot from my friends, and it would be so helpful to nurture those relationships too.

In addition I want to focus on:

-improving my sleep

-eating consistently and staying hydrated

-moving regularly, at least 10k steps per day and incorporating workouts

-committing to EMDR therapy (just had my first session on the 2nd, and already a huge improvement from the disastrous attempt at talk therapy that I tried last year)

-getting myself onto a regular routine to manage my anxiety, improve my well-being, and keep my home clean

I’ve also taken a big step and finally started ballet classes, which is something I’ve wanted to do my entire life. I signed up for an absolute beginner ballet course with the Orlando Ballet; I had my first class on the 5th and loved it even though I was scared shitless.

Basically, I want to get myself into the healthiest place I can possibly be, physically and emotionally, before having a baby. I hope that that’s something that happens naturally- and maybe dealing with the extensive trauma I’ve been swallowing down for decades and allowing myself the grace to heal is just what I need. But our plan is to pursue IVF this year, and I want to give myself the best possible chance of success.

I’m not always great with following through on challenges. I’m hoping that through making myself keep up with blogging I’ll feel just enough pressure to maintain it. I might end up making a TikTok series as well- Shane has been encouraging me to do that, he thinks that would be good for me. But in the meantime, I’ll blog my way through the next hundred days and see where I’ll be by April 20th.

Please feel free to leave comments or questions- I’d love to connect with other people who might be going through the same things, or might want to try a reset for themselves too.